88 Lines...

As we close in on our 20th HS Reunion, the nostalga sets in... the fun times,
the broken hearts, the fights, the (from the pictures) drunk times - but all
of them good memories.

[ my pictures ]

[ Bill Barnes pixs too ]

Hillbilly Heights

Pictures from the annual Memorial Day BBQ, that was postponed for 2 weeks.
I am LOVING the country theme too...


[ LINK ]

You can't always get what you want

It's true. No matter how hard you try to get to that point
you strive for - the Universe decides it's not n the cards
for you. Don't get me wrong, I feel VERY fortunate for my life.
I have my career that I chose to pursue. I have some of the
greatest, die-hard friends in the world. I still have my core
group but have expanded it so I have a massive group of friends
and acquaintances. Sometimes it's nice to have so many choices
in who to hang out with... but sometimes the true person you want
to hang with is unavailable or whatever.

I have had a RE-self-realization this weekend....
that you CAN NOT change people.

You can't have them be the way you want all the time.
Their personalities and way of living is not going to change
unless they want to change it. Deal with it. The same with my
Passive-Aggressive personality. Not going to change. if they act
a way now, it's likely not to change just because you think you are
"special" enough to make them realize something special in themselves.

Not gonna happen.

Just because you like the way someone makes you feel - they might
not feel the same way (yes, I'm having a woman issue, as you can
probably tell). But this is the same for all people - your friend
is an introvert, your dad is an asshole, your boyfriend always puts
himself first, your boss is a liar, the girl you like is a drunk...
well, you get the idea.

So, I go back to my last post. Putting me and my needs first.
Top priority. Hang with friends that want to be with me (not always
concerned with what they are missing out on). Spend time with a woman
that likes me for me - but for us both to realize what it is - friends?
fwb? something more? Find a job that pays me what I'm worth and
appreciates the job I do.

Happiness - not out of reach... Just tougher to grab and hold onto
some days than others.

Tired Days & Drunk Nights OR Tired of Bastards and Bullshit

Lately I feel like no matter how I try, I'm dodging Landmines
and Landslides... Relationships, Work, Friends, Freelance, Worrying,
Stressing, Cussing, making me a generally unhappy person. Eating me
up some days. I'm real tired of it. Must change. Have to change to survive.
I am alone in this. No one else is there to pull me through. A test?
Perhaps. I know I am strong. I will change.

I know I am a Passive Aggressive person. I never though there was
anything wrong with this... People must not like it. I've been called
out on now twice recently. Let me be frank- it's not going to change.
Deal with it. I put up with other peoples shortcoming every fucking day.
I don't have the power to change people - I realize this. So I say "No more".
Not me. Let them destroy themselves in any way they want.

Time for me to get back to Me.

Does the Lion City Still Roar?

Memorial Day today and just taking it easy. Treating it like a Sunday,
getting shit done before the start of my week back at work. I've had
the last 6 days off which has been awesome - very relaxing.

The original plan for today was to try to get Foxboro HotTubs tixs for
tonights show at the Belly Up, but it seemed like waaaaay to much trouble
for it. Not into them enough to wait in line 12 hours and "maybe" get
tickets. So instead... laundry, uploading pictures, scanning stuff, dishes
and a plethora of mundane stuff. That's the real reason to take time off
for me - to relax and get refocused on work, but also to do all the stuff
I never have time to do.

Had fun over the vacation, even if the weather caused me to postpone
the annual Memorial Day BBQ for 2 weeks. It should be sunny and warmer
by then, right?

Fun stuff I did on my vacation: Saw IronMan (great flick!!!), rode my bike,
finished a freelance project, organized freelance work, went to Pt Loma /
Cabrillo Monument / Tide Pools, BBQed, drank a LOT, took my myself out
to dinner and hung out with friends. Fun. Fun. Fun.

In music news, a couple weeks until the new Less Than Jake CD drops but
the first single is on their site.... check it.

3 years, 1095 Days OR a Moment in the Sun

The 3 Year anniversary of my Blog is today. I always enjoy looking back
and reading my old posts. It makes me realize how much I've changed and
also stayed the same.

2005 - I was dealing with KP, the death of my Grandfather and
broken relationships.

2006 - I was trying to change things in my life, working for Sony Online,
hanging out with Ally, and playing the hell out of "In With the Out Crowd"
by LTJ.

2007 - I bought my Audi, working like crazy at VR, went to see a bunch
of great bands, and was busy with freelance.

Today - I'm busy working for VR, still busy with freelance, dating
crazy girls (but trying to stop), BUT generally happy.

I guess that is all I can ask is to be happy, to continue to make
myself happy and not to settle for anything less.
Just living my life moment to happy moment, and not letting
the little bumps slow me down...

In other news, my annual Memorial Day party is in a week. Looking forward
to entertaining, having my friends over for BBQ and croquet. Western theme
this year. Should be a blast. We are having a bit of a heat wave this weekend.
Spend some time at Lisa-Lisa's pool today with some of her and Johnny's
friends (I was the only one without tats)