The Memorial day weekend started off with a drink on a Friday night
at the Aero Club with “mare” & “kd”. I was still in a funk since the funeral
and the uncertainty of “smiley”. I decided though this was to be the
“weekend of ME”. Putting myself and my needs first. Hey why not.
A time for me to do what I want, with whomever I want to, and
without consequences. Sure, it’s a holiday weekend & it’s her
birthday weekend as well, but sometimes even in the tough times,
these things must be done.
BBQ with friends from the gym this afternoon.
I had dinner with “smiley” and her family in Seaport Village, Saturday night.
We walked around the shops and she bought a cowboy hat.
I have been looking for a cool 30’s – 40’s style fedora hat for when
I go to the Del Mar racetrack. I actually found one and am going to
get it when I have some spare cash. Only 50 days or so until opening day.
Dinner Sunday night at Pacifica Del Mar Sunday night.
Memorial day was great. Very relaxing. I got a lot done.
I actually called my family members that served in the service.
After going to the funeral the other day at Roscrans, it rejuvenated
my beliefs in the military and what they do for us on a daily basis.
I had Thai food (man I ate out a LOT this weekend) in PB
on Monday night.I really like the people from “smiley’s” gym.
They are very genuine people that show me the reasons I love her so much.
So much for the long weekend though.
I got what I needed out of it. I was very selfish.
I regained my strength and focus.
I am ready for whatever comes next.
Oh, by the way I have an interview this morning
with a small Ad agency.
Sometimes I ask myself "What does it take…", be it, get a job, support your family,
buy a house, get your bills paid off, make time for friends, fix a broken relationship.
The answer usually comes from what you put into it. I am a firm believer in the more
effort you put into something, the better the results will be. In my hunt for the
perfect job, I always do research on the company, talk to people that have worked for
them (or know people that have), and find out how the company is
doing in their field.
Having dealt with MAJOR family issues lately has really grounded me to what is so
important in my life & WHO is important. In case you are wondering, the mass for my
Grandpa was good – a lot of people showed up for their final respects.
The service at Roscrans Cemetery was gorgeous and moving.
I had never seen one before and the saddest moment was when my Grandma
received the flag from the Marine color guard. I put my family
(and extended family & friends) first.
When it comes to relationships, sometimes too much is not good.
It is better to back off. Give it that breathing room.
Make the other person miss you soooo bad that it hurts.
Sometimes it’s the only way for them to appreciate you.
I decided that I need to be the focal point
in someone’s life. I can’t (and won’t be) the other thing they
have to do or deal with. They must realize their issues on their own,
coming from inside that things will only change
within themselves once they accept and say they “want to change”.
Lastly, I will learn to trust again.
Some good news – another positive call back from a company. We will see what next week brings.
Is there anything more important as a good set of friends? I wonder this quite often.
The support system set up by a great set of reliable friends is invaluable.
But when it breaks down – it is devastating. I feel terrible for my friend “smokey”.
He has a BAD addiction. I have offered to help but he doesn’t want it.
I don’t know how to influence him into doing something about his problem.
He admits to having it, but just doesn’t have the motivation to do anything about it.
I hope one day he doesn’t wake from his haze and realize his friends have all walked away.
Friends will listen to you about anything. I am sure by now, most of my friends
are tired of hearing me talk about “smiley”. But they would never say it to my face.
They know I will figure this one out on my own. I have heard many great pieces of
advice on relationships though. I am formulating like a mad scientist as we speak.
Writing things down has always done wonders for me. It allows me to capture
my thoughts and later return to reanalyze my ramblings.
Obviously family is above friends. You should make your partner as important as your
friends and family. Most of the time, if you are with the right person, you will already
feel this way.
That’s how I knew I was…
Listening and Waiting.
- cheeser
As many of you know, I have been dealing with a lot lately.
As far as job stuff, I have been pretty lucky. I always end up
with something – and it’s usually a good company.
The problem is keeping the job. I can usually stay upbeat
on this though.
I have my Grandfather’s funeral on Thursday. It will be a sad day.
He will have the full military service at Ft. Roscrans cemetery.
I am very proud of him. His Obituary:
http://www.legacy.com/signonsandiego/LegacySubPage2.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=3571901
Then we come to my real dilemma – my love life.
Or as I like to call it “Ball of Confusion”.
“smiley” and myself are still working on stuff.
I haven’t completely given up on us being together.
We are giving each other some space.
Very hard, but probably necessary.
But sometimes the questions outweigh the outcome.
"for you see, each day I love you more - today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow." - Rosemonde Gerard
Lenny Kravitz always puts on a great show. I had a great time @
last nights show with “smiley”.Had a great dinner at Indigo Grill.
Really yummy! “It’s so choice.”
The show had a great mix for people watching.
I really like Symphony hall as a venue. I have been there a few times
for the symphony, but seeing a band there is a way different experience.
Another sunny weekend is expected in SD. I am having problems
getting my bike fixed. The part is on back order.
One good thing is I don’t have to handle it. I guess I will have to
find other outdoor activities to do.
That reminds me – on Sunday in Little Italy is the Sicilian Festival.
I would love to get a loft space down there. Close to downtown
and in the heart of San Diego.
Today will be another good job hunting day.
I have heard back from a couple of companies,
but nothing solid yet. I need to talk with “crash”
because he is helping me with the visualHYPE website.
Oh, and some freelance work today too.
Just got back from seeing Episode 3. It might have been my favorite
of the series. Have to ponder this more, I will.
E3 update –
Highlights:
Microsoft booth & the Xbox 360.
Sony PlayStation 3 – CHANG3 advertising
Michael Chiklis (“The Shield” / Fantastic 4)
The new Batman Car
New games to get excited about:
Destroy All Humans! (Best in Show)
Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas
Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows
It's Clobberin' Time
Jack
Yesterday was great – a gamers wet dream! Unfortunately, that’s not me.
I go for the networking opportunities. This year was a bust.
Most companies don’t bring recruiters anymore. They rely on their websites
for job postings and sorting out the riff-raff. I like the chance to sit down
and show my portfolio. Thanks to “stinker” for getting me my E3 pass.
Smallville was disappointing last night. “To be continued…” blows.
Next year is the final year anyways. I still need to watch LOST.
It really is one of the best shows on TV.
The Batman Begins stuff after Smallville was awesome though.
I cannot wait for that movie.
Tonight is Lenny Kravitz at Copely Symphony Hall. Should be a good show.
Oh yeah, some small new movie comes out today…
I was supposed to go see Audioslave at the new House of Blues – San Diego.
Unfortunately, Chris Cornell’s voice was sot so they postponed indefinitely.
No new Audioslave. No new HOB…
So that part of the evening was a bust, but made it up in spades.
Today I travel to the City of Angels for E3, the largest video game conference.
It should be a great networking opportunity, as well as a chance to see X-Box 360,
PS3 and the games slated for 2006.
Don’t forget the SMALLVILLE season finale is tonight, along with 10 minutes of
Batman Begins.
Welcome to the first and most spectacular blog of me - cheese.
Just a place to update everyone on the happenings in my life.
April was a bad month from start to finish. Job, Family, Girlfriend – all bad.
I am looking forward to May though. Much to do.
On the concert tip, there is Audioslave at the new HOB – SD and Lenny Kravitz at Copley Symphony Hall,
along with new Cds from NIN, Weezer “Make Believe” and Audioslave “Out of Exile” (May 24).
Keeping busy with freelance work, a couple of interviews and working on the
visualHYPE website. Welcome to the hype.
