It's not as easy as it sounds. CHANGE. Most of us fall into our ways and never really change.
Not that you have to change for anyone or anything. You can be the most stubborn,
bull-headed person and decide "Why should I change? I'm perfect the way I am. I like the
way I act / live / whatever. Accept me for my quirks, faults, etc."
Sometimes this is okay. You are not hurting anyone in what you are doing or acting.
It may just be super fucking annoying OR make others around you not want to hang out
with you. Sometimes people just have to say to themselves "Either I have to accept
this person for the way they are, or I have to stop hanging out with them".
Letting go someone because of this reason is one of the hardest things to do in life.
Along with getting over my last relationship, I had decided to "remove" some bad elements
from my life that seemed to be dragging down my life further. They were sucking the
goodness from me and holding me back from growing. I knew that they were not going to
change and I was done letting them make me feel worthless.
The good thing that I am learning from my new path (besides happiness) is how
to change myself and why I needed to. Therapy and self-evaluation is a STRONG
and eye-opening experience. I am making positive changes in my life. I am not
letting others dictate this, nor am I changing for someone else's view of me.
The great thing about these wholesale changes is the clarity I am having. My ability
to see the things I don't like or want in my life. I am getting back to the happy,
fun, open person I know I once was.
I look into the eye of the storm and say "Bring it". I am ready. Prepared for battle.
My life is really good and those still hitched to my wagon are in for a great time.
Looking forward to Football starting up again. Me and Chuckles are going to the game
Saturday night vs da'Bears (and stupid Jay Cutler). I like FREE Tickets (using the owners seats).
The team has changed with LT leaving (a running theme this year?) and with Vincent Jackson /
Marcus McNeill not getting new long-term contracts. On the plus side -
we get new legs with rookie running back Ryan Matthews.
We have consistency and leadership in Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates (signed to a
new long term deal).
I still don't like NORV but one more year and we'll see what he can do. My hope is still bringing in Bill Cower.
Someone that is a proven winner.
Preseason starts in a couple of weeks. The season starts on a Thursday
September 9th - Vikings vs the Saints. The Bolts play the 2nd Monday night game
on the 13th at the Chiefs.
This summer has been a weird one. Last one was full of Fun in the Sun.
Lots of Concerts and Activities. This one has been more on the down-low.
I'm sure my attitude has something to do with that but as
I say to myself everyday - it's another chance for fresh start.
I'm taking care of myself - health and mental wise. Therapy has helped tons.
Refocusing on the important things. Getting life in order. I have shed off
a lot of bad energy and people over the last couple of months as well.
Sometime you think you know what is best for you not knowing it is sucking
the marrow from your bones.
Work has been really good. Trying to advance myself through hard work, taking
on more responsibilities and going beyond my job. I guess I will have a better
gauge at review time in January if my "plan" is working.
I got my first Passport (finally). Over the last two years I had talked and
talked about it but finally pulled the trigger. Now to just decide where
and when...
Weather wise it hasn't felt like summer at all. More May-Gray and June-Gloom
days than the Hot Heat that we are used to this time of year.
What will the rest of the Summer hold? I guess I will have to hold my head up,
leave my "self-made" prison to see what is out there and really know what is
next for me.
The summer ritual of Freaks, Geeks, and Comic-Con has passed and as usual,
I'm a little sad. The one thing I look forward to year round... like
my version of X-Mas (in the heat of July - not so much this year tho).
Heading into Wednesday and Preview night was the same excitement I get
every year. With questions like "How quickly will I get my badge and into
the main hall?”, “How busy will it be?”, and “ “who will I run into
this year?”.
I strode toward the Convention Center with anticipation, with Jimmy by
my side. Everything moved pretty quickly – Line for check-in, Check.
Get Pases easily, Check. Right into the Main Hall, Check. We cruised
around for a couple of hours and got the layout down.
The organizers actually made some really good changes in lay-out this year,
moving around the video games, TV area, and artist alley for better flow
through the hall. On the peek days this helped BUT didn’t fix the problem.
Headed home knowing Thursday would be the start of a long day.
Up early and down into line for Hall H with breakfast and coffee in tow.
Checked out the panels for MasterMind (Will Farrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill),
and Tron: Legacy. Both looked AWESOME! Missed the Danny Elfman panel but I
would have asked him if Oingo Boingo would ever do a reunion tour. Caught
the Burn Notice and White Collar panels as well. Great job by the TV Execs
getting great shows represented at the Con. Along with walking the main hall
completely, I had a pretty full day.
I ended up going to the Con late on Friday because of a funeral I needed to
attend that morning. Met up with Jim and got down there for a few hours.
Missed out on the Walking Dead panel (BOO!) but caught the trailer at the booth
a couple times during the day – and man does it look GREAT!!! I cannot wait
for October. Thanks AMC.
The BIG Show always is on Saturday and this year was no exception. The first
panel in Hall H was Green Lantern and Harry Potter. I took Adrian with me that
day. We grabbed breakfast and got in line, meeting up with Maze. So we waited…
and waited… and waited a little more. 3 hours total. Up to about 100 people from
the front, where we were told the hall was full…. F@#K!!!!!!!!! Not a great start
to the day but took it all in stride. If I was alone that day, I would have
crashed in the hall all day but it’s all good.We spent the rest of the day
checking out the main hall and enjoying the super=-packed goodness that is
Saturday at the Con.
Didn’t attend any big parties this year. Way more subdued than most years -
probably my state of mind from life and relationship stuff. The good thing
is next year will be here before I know it.
So another year, Another Comic-Con is about to begin tonight with Preview Night.
Really looking forward to the distraction of fun, fake boobs, & fan-boys.
Throw in a good time with good friends, and you have a great vacation.
The weekend will be fun-filled and aI know that extra day off I am taking
after it all, will be great.
On top of that awesome start to my vacation - Dave of the Foo Fighters,
started posting pictures from inside Studio 606 where it looks like the FF
have stated working on the new album.
After a few hard months of internal struggles and external pain, I am reborn,
refreshed and ready for my next chapter. Plus, it helps to have the FOO in
your corner.
It's not too often I am open on my own Blog. I have been told that the posts are
vague (most people call for the full scoop) and don't let most people into my life.
Even my closest friends are usually not privy to my "inside" life.
In May, LT - my girlfriend (and best friend) of a year and a half,
broke my heart & broke up with me. Our relationship, like most, had their ups
and downs. I never expected it to end like this.
We were in different places in our lives during the course of the relationship.
I know she put in a ton more effort that me, and treated me waaaaay better than
I treated her. It really came down to the "paths" we were both on and where we
saw ourselves in a few years down the road. Over the last 6 weeks, I have talk,
dissected, and dove head-first into fixing everything. See, I thought there was
still a chance to be together... Unfortunately, she had shut it off sometime before
the break-up and no matter what I did to prove that I wanted her was to fall short.
Obviously, I wish it could be different.
I wish I did things differently and followed through being the great guy I KNOW
I can be. I never meant to hurt her or not give her the world I know she deserved.
Looking back over the relationship, I remember the great times we had together.
I treasure every moment together and hope we can be friends again someday.
